Barganing

They say that you hit a point at this stage where you are trying to reason with your spouse. I guess that is what has happened this week. I e-mailed Daniel and got back a pretty heartfelt and contrite reply and it gave me hope for our marriage, only to be shot down again at the receipt of the next e-mail. I tried to make him see how big of a mistake he was making and that we could try to work it out to no avail. It is still a little unbelievable to me that this is really happening. How could he do this to me, us, our family. I go back and forth between shock and acceptance. From one hour to the next I could be in a different place. I just never know. The betrayal is so sharp and has cut so deep. There is a gaping wound there that will take a long time to heal, but it will heal. All things heal with time. I had to make sure he knew one last time that I was not willing to just let our marriage go, that I was willing to fight for it. I know it is what God required of me. Now it is time to move forward and begin a new chapter in my life as a single person. I do this unwillingly at this point, but I have no choice, a marriage is not a marriage unless there are two in it.