The Debriefing

When soldiers return from a deployment they go through a series of debriefings. The purpose it to wind down their time away and access how things went, but also to get them ready to move back into the real world. I had my debriefing with my husband today. There were some things I wanted to get off my chest, some questions I felt I had the right to get answers to, and some practical things to address for the future. I went in prepared with things written down and that was so helpful because it really kept me on target. I did get a lot of answers and I got everything said that I wanted to say, but the end result was still the same. He is still pursuing a relationship with the other woman. The tears have flowed freely tonight. Let them fall. This is something to cry about. The man who has been my husband for the last 20 years is gone. His preference is a 22 year old girl who won't even tell her mom (who she lives with) about my husband because she doesn't think her mom will understand. In the famous words of one of my friends, "you think?" All I can think right now is wow, just wow. I have a theory, and mind you its only a theory. In September when all this started I had cancer and was going through a really rough time. At the same time, this young woman contacted my husband because she was having a problem. Her problem was that she didn't feel like she fit in at the unit. I asked my husband, "was that a problem you could fix?" He said, "Yes." I asked him, "was mine a problem you could fix?" He said, "No." So my theory is that since he couldn't fix my illness he was overwhelmed and drawn to one he could fix.He may have fixed her problem, but he has opened up the floodgates to so many others that hurt me and my kids, and probably in the future will hurt himself and this girl as well.